I have the need to write down my feelings but I don’t know where to start. Upset, annoyed, sad but most of all frustrated. So extremely frustrated.

Life has been going pretty smoothly lately, I work, stay sober, recently started studying again, but there’s just one thing that won’t work out. One tiny little thing that I so desperately need to happen, but can’t seem to make work. And it is so frustrating, and I can’t get it out of my head. I want it to happen so badly.

And it is just a stupid little silly thing, I guess that is why it bothers me so much. Why is it so important to me? Why can’t I just let it go? Move on, and be happy. Everything else is fine, just let this one go. I want to. But I can’t. Don’t I have better self control than this? Am I really this weak? Come on Fiona, get up on your fucking feet.