I’m rambling again

So I’ve never wanted kids. No reason, I just never wished for kids of my own. Which is also the main reason why my previous relationships never worked out, they wanted children, I don’t, we split up. And sure, that always sucked but I’m still very happy with my decision and that I never folded.

I’ve never even thought about the reason I don’t want kids before, it has always just been that way and nothing I really reflected over, until recently. I saw a video with a girl talking about a book she read, it was about how many women (maybe men too? I don’t remember) doesn’t want kids because of their own mothers. How they were treated badly, had a tough childhood, got neglected and so on. And for that reason grew up and was so scared to become like their own terrible mothers themselves that they never got any children because of it. I am sure there is a lot more to that theory but I only saw a short video, I have to read more into it.

But it just got me thinking, is that maybe why I never wanted children of my own? I don’t think so, but maybe? It might be a mix of both, my shitty mom and that I was just never interested in having kids at all, but who knows. I mean, we’re more affected by our childhood then we even can imagine, at least that’s what I believe and have experienced myself when I’ve been working on & looking over my own life and who I am as a person today.

Ok so this post became a bit messy, I wrote it in a hurry at 3 o’clock in the morning, but I hope you got the point at least. Maybe we can talk more about it later on if you’re interested. Or what do you think about all this?

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