This year has been a true test of strength for me. For many years my life has really been a downward spiral, and I’d been under water for so long I didn’t realize I was drowning until I reached the bottom of the ocean.
I went through hell and despair when everything around me seemed to crumble. I was drinking morning and night just to hide from my own self destructive mind. I spent most of my time barely exiting. A naturally following step was isolating myself from the outside world – and being completely fine with it. I decided to choose my own reality, and being ok on my own is a positive thing for me. By living in a small town, being a female not really fitting in with the rest, and also being fairly happy doing so can be quite provoking to some people. But that’s ok, it doesn’t make any difference to me.
Now when we’re getting closer to the end of the year I can say that things have improved greatly. I’m finally sober, after all these years (it’s only been a week so far but you gotta start somewhere right). I’m thankful for the few close friends that I have, I’m learning new things every day, I’ve picked up writing and hopefully I’ll get a lot better at it soon. Documenting my journey seems like a good step to take to get better and to look back on in the future to actually see how far I’ve come.
And I definitely look forward to getting older and wiser 🖤